Coaching vs directing: How do you support your team and networks?

We’ve all heard the phrase “No good deed goes unpunished”, but when you’re supporting staff and mentees, who’s at risk of being punished? 

No matter your position in an organisation—we’re firm believers in leadership at every level here at Ora Advisory—you've probably offered advice with the purest of intentions, with the recipient of these pearls of wisdom in mind. Was it career advice, telling a person what they should be thinking about for progression or change? Gave your protégé a stretch opportunity? Perhaps you referred them to someone in your network and helped them on their exit journey? 

On the surface, no reasonable person would accuse you of wrongdoing. So let me ask you this, in all of these interactions, did you ask the person: 

• “What are your goals?”

• “What do you need from this conversation?”

• “How can I support you in this instance?”

If not, you may have been inadvertently provided unwanted direction that may not be in the person’s best interest or have unwanted consequences. Afterall, only we as individuals have the range of understanding of our experience and thoughts. 

Some people may be coming to you for a tailored prescription, and that’s ok, as long as you’re coming along their journey with them, not steering the ship. 

You could assist them to: 

• map out their skill sets and interests and look for alignment 

• test their interest for similar or diverse industries 

• reflect on professional development opportunities and areas for uplift 

• empower their own voices and know when to say “Thank you for your thoughts” without feeling pressured or compelled to act on the advice of others. 

Honouring the lived experience of our networks without ego is one of the toughest skills we as humans can master. 

Test yourself to see how many times a day you say, “You should...” to realise the potential to offer “You could...”. Coaching, rather than directing, will lead to more authentic outcomes, and in the end, all of us realising our own lesson—with our cheerleaders on the side. 

Lisa Milin | CEO and Partner